The soft sea breeze blew wisps of curly hair across her face – her once beautiful face. She was never beautiful in the worldly sense. Her dusky complexion, small forehead, thin lips, didn’t exactly fit the definition of beauty. But her big, dark eyes shone with a twinkle every time she smiled. The faint dimples on her cheeks gave away a hint of mischief, and her small but shapely nose perfectly complimented her mouth. Her face still bore the signs of its past glory, albeit with a sprinkling of graceful maturity. Crow’s feet, laugh lines, white hair, a little extra weight – they all looked good on her. And she’d embraced them all warmly. That’s how she liked to welcome everything in life. With a big, warm hug. In crossing half a century of life, this was the trait that’d kept her bearings straight – acceptance. If you’d ask Gayatri about her favorite place to be, it’d be the mountains. She loved the mountains. The crisp air, the echoes of the hills, the serpentine roads, steaming hot cups of tea, long walks in the woods! Mountains brought her solace like nothing else in the world.
‘Then what am I doing here?’ she wondered, sitting on a half empty beach? She had never been a ‘sea’ person. She found beaches to be too crowded for a silent mind, the sand irritated her skin, and wet clothes were the bane of her life. But today, as she sat there, soaking everything around her, the beach felt beautiful, serene even. She could taste the salt in the air, and it tasted like a faded echo of her tears. Her feet dug into the soft sand, enjoying the fleeting caress of a tiny wave which reached out to her. All the chaos around; tiny birds creating a ruckus, teenagers wrapping up a game of beach volleyball, the seagulls squawking – all faded into oblivion. The sound of the sea seemed all pervasive. The waves lapping on the shore, chasing each other, crashing and soaring, drowning everything else into a rhythmic silence. A silence only superseded by the one in her life now. Maybe, she was there, after all, to reconcile with the silence. In search of a new beginning. ‘New beginning’ sounded ironic at this stage in life but her recent separation from Sushant had forced it upon her.
The separation had been a long struggle, more with her own self than anything. Trying to figure it out – what went wrong, what could have been done differently, how will it affect their lives, their children’s lives? It was never going to be easy. But sustaining the relationship was becoming harder. They’d tried hard to reconnect, to readdress the issues. But the rifts were far too deep to bridge. She appreciated Sushant for understanding this and agreeing for a mutually amicable divorce. It was a good decision in the long run.
Now, the only thing that she was scared of was being alone – literally and figuratively. She was trying to wrap her head around that, be comfortable in her own silence, and embark on a way of life she always wanted, but never dared to follow.
There she was, at the precipice of a seemingly daunting but majestic part of her life. And the sea was her first companion!
